March 2011
67 posts
MISCELLANEOUS
Instead of feeling like I don’t know where my life is headed I think I’ll just pretend like I do know. By pretending, I mean fantasizing. If I can fantasize about my life the way I used to fantasize about hooking up with exotic strangers then I could probably go somewhere really fast in my life. I know I’m sounding really sensational right now, but hey, I’m trying something new. I should get some...
February 2011
40 posts
The saddest thing in the world is loving someone...
leilockheart:
by Kahlil Gibran
Attention
I think everyone begs for attention at some point in their lives. Some use the tactic everyday; the people who don’t are worth keeping in your life. Sounds simple enough to me, but what does it mean? Of course I couldn’t just leave the thought alone. I always want to know more. I want to go deeper. There are different types of attention seeking behavior. The question though is where do...
Watchimyourbimbo:
omg
Oops
I did it again ;D
If only
If I don’t get accepted to college this year, it’s not my fault, it’s the counselors fault.
If I can’t afford college, it’s not my fault, it’s the governments fault.
If I can’t fall in love, it’s not my fault, it’s just the way I was raised.
If I can’t believe in Christ, it’s not my fault, it’s because I’m gay.
If I...
“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And...”
– St. Augustine of Hippo
Today
I made a prediction while I was in the shower. I was just thinking about how my day would probably look and what I’d ultimately end up doing. Today I’ll probably clean my room, wash clothes, do homework, and send texts to David all while making intermittent trips to the computer to check facebook. First I need to do this podcast with Tyler though.
Stood Up
Yeah. Actually, I’m not sure who stood up who. He should have called or something. I arrived there an hour late but he didn’t text me at all so i didn’t have any way of telling him I was lost. It’s kind of lame. I at least go to listen to Joe’s band play it’s last number for the night, and then I walked around, surveyed the dining rooms and then left. Okay,...
Van Gogh
I was really bored last night so I was browsing the web. Just browsing the web like all the other two billion people that browse the web. Except I was looking for something. I am always looking for something. You see that’s the funny thing about me. I’m always looking and looking, I never find what I’m looking for, but I always find and find. So I was finding things on this...
Today was...
Excited about snow
Facebook
Blah
How to be a normal teenager →
Jonathan is the President of his mind, and he has...
From now on:
Homework
Scholarships
Music
Social
And in that order too. I am sick of coming home tired and stressed out. I want my life to be organized and goal oriented.
WTF
Have you ever just stopped thinking about all the little mundane things you do everyday and asked yourself “What the fuck am I doing?”. It happens to me all the time. I mean, WTF moments happen to me. I’ll be driving in my car, laying in bed, or doing pretty much anything and suddenly -wtf- I’m having one of those moments right now as I write this. Who is going to read...
Valentines Day
I hate love.
Because I need some inspiration right now
Jonathan SampleHopefully Saturday night will be inspiring.
45 seconds ago · · Like ·
W. W. Norton: In an intriguing series of studies... →
wwnorton:
In an intriguing series of studies in the 1950s, investigators were interested in what features would initiate sexual behavior in male turkeys. They first found that you could get arousal with a lifelike model of a female turkey—the males would gobble, strut, puff up, and eventually mount the…
“A breaking-away from the old, encased self into a new one forged through the...”
– Lisa Appignanesi, All About Love Forthcoming july 2011 (via wwnorton)
Procrastinating
Today I feel dull. I feel like I’ve finally sank back into my obscure thoughts.The meaningless ones that consume my mind. Back to the beginning?
7 Red Lights
Ways that could help determine if he’s the one:
Can he pick a line out of his favorite song and explain why he likes the song?AKA— can he think critically?
Is he self reliant? Does he live with his parents? Can he drive? Does he have a plan? A job? Can he prioritize his life? Can he tell his wants from his needs?
Is he emotionally stable? Can he take criticism? What if I disagree...
What he doesn't realize
I’m growing
I’m learning
I’m hurting
I miss him
I can’t let him go
I won’t move on
I want to change for him
If I can’t have him, he will cry over me
He will cry over my lifeless body
Why he wont get back together with me?
I’m neurotic, self-absorbed and need to mature.
I’m bipolar?
I treated him like shit and I enjoyed it
He doesn’t want to cry over me ever again.
Worth mentioning
He was always there for me
always listened to what I had to say
always had my best interest
wanted to make me happy
awesome sex
took me out to nice places
made awesome memories with him
went to the corn maze
talked on the phone with me for hours
quit smoking as much for me
cut his hair for me
visited me often
said we didnt have to have sex
put up with my nonsense
hung out with me...
37 things I can't stand
Here are a list of reasons why I broke up with him
He didn’t make me feel special
He wouldn’t come out
Because of 2 he never understood the pain i went through
I couldn’t stop thinking what others would think
My dad wouldn’t shut the fuck up
I never got to see him
I was planning on going to college and meeting a ton of guys
I can do better than him
I thought my...
Limbo
Stuck somewhere between loving him and wanting my own adventure, I’m forced to think of painful memories. I’m here in Oakridge yet again, another night wasted to painful memories. They were good memories but they are dead and meaningless as this cold town. Will I make it on my own? Can I escape?
At this point I would rather be homeless, living on city streets, than sleeping in a cage....
